May 2013
2 posts
WatchCan’t get enough of this.
April 2013
2 posts
Q and A with me : a one time only thing.
In this non-weekly, one time series I will answer pressing questions from the vast American public. Here is my first question.
Q: Why are people in middle America so fat? A: Because when everyone set out from the East Coast, the fatties got tired half way through. The others wanted to go further. But, hands on their knees and breaths not quite yet caught, the heffers waved them off.
...
February 2013
6 posts
RE: Girls.
I’m a HUGE Lena fan but, in my opinion, this last episode was a strange, stand alone, fraudulent fantasy of an episode - a bizarre imitation of a Sophia Coppola film saturated with a bevy of meaningless words. The reason I love the show is because it feels real, I love the world it lives in, I enjoy ALL the characters and I truly believe it feels very current. An episode where Lena spends 3...
Found by a friend on Craigslist. Proof I'm a...
I farted on every single one of my employees. All 37 of them.
So, I just need to tell the world because I am so happy that I have finally accomplished something that has been 3 months in the making. I farted on every single one of my 37 employees. The initial fart began on January 21st, 2008 while I was expediting at my somewhat famous restaurant in the meatpacking district. Lets just say, I...
Dear Rappers.
I’m as white and Jewy as it gets. I’m always worried about getting sick, if I don’t get enough sleep I’m wicked cranky, and I’m generally scared of large groups of minorities.
Yet, I still listen to rap. Hardcore rap. Because it makes me feel way doper than I am. I turn that shit up in my white ass Audi, roll down the windows and bump like Trump… until a...
December 2012
8 posts
November 2012
9 posts
The Night I Felt Like a Minority. (The Huffpo...
I worked all day yesterday. It was exhausting. I was exhausted. But by 10 p.m., I was done and thrilled to be going home to spend some quality couch time and check in with my favorite wacky pawn shop owners (7 new episodes DVR’d — a personal best). On the ride home, I got a flat tire. I pulled over onto a side street and called AAA. I threw on some Howard, reclined my seat and...
October 2012
1 post
September 2012
0 posts
August 2012
4 posts
July 2012
2 posts
June 2012
1 post
May 2012
3 posts
Watchtell me this isn’t gonna be ridic epic #punk’d
April 2012
10 posts
Watchamazing meme. Punk’d tonight. 10pm EST MTV.
Watchcomedy bang bang!
Watchnext week on #punkd.
WatchThis week on #Punkd! @haydenpanettier gets the lovely @diannaagron to take care of a grandpa with an awkward boner problemo, puts @zacefron in a sticky cop situation, and makes @snooki witness some old school infidelity. NOT TO BE MISSED!!!
March 2012
11 posts
